Glow by J.Lo is a perfume made by that popular American entrepreneur, actress and performer, Jennifer Lopez. Last year, she played a supporting role in a film titled ‘Hustlers’ where she acted as a stripper/pole dancer named Ramona. Her role in the film won her numerous nominations and awards.

Whether people approve of her lifestyle or not or even the film is not our focus of concern in this discourse, however, let us examine a bit about her preparation for her role in that film. She enlisted the service of an expert pole dancer, Johanna Sapakie to train her on how to pole dance, she wrote on the training process “life begins at the end of your comfort zone….this was definitely one of the hardest things I’ve ever done physically. But it was worth it in the end”. She had to go through an intense training process to give a natural performance for a film role.  The amount of work she put into preparing for that role can be summed up in the daily routine of her lifestyle, work ethics, willingness to learn new things and become the best in it.

She believes “we are limitless” as humans which means we have the capabilities for possibilities if we are willing to take the step out of our comfort zones.

As women, we sometimes admire other women who seem to have it all together: their boss roles in their businesses/organizations, their oratorical prowess, their skills, gorgeous physical appearances. Some women even admire up to the point of criticism: most times when women insult another, they secretly admire the individual who is simply doing what they wish they could be doing.

Most times, when women unnecessarily criticize another, jealousy is really the underlying factor. However, one of the antidotes to petty jealousy, which does not move any woman forward or add value to her, is finding purpose and working tenaciously to fulfill it.

Success is not a birthright of anyone neither is wealth the entitlement of a selected few, all can possess it if we so desire. Success comes to those who work hard and smart, toil with a defined focus and not give up at the sight of a setback or failure.

When we discuss women empowerment, we talk of the willingness of the female gender to go above and beyond the limitations of culture to become their best and truest self, not in competition with anyone but striving always to beat their last best self. Look at the amount of work the women who are making their marks in their various fields are putting into their crafts and emulate that.

As a woman who knows she is empowered and has a purpose to fulfill on planet earth, identify your area(s) of strengths and interests. What skill do you have or what skill do you want to develop? Invest into yourself by seeking for knowledge to better yourself, and most are free these days. Look for opportunities to serve in areas where you can add value and that service would refine whatever skill(s) you have and help you develop additional ones as well. In serving, you will develop people’s skills, interpersonal and inter-relational skills, negotiation skills alongside the horning of the learnt skills. In serving, you will be building the totality of who you are.

Know this: those women we so much admire are just like us but did more than what most of us are willing or ready to do. They identified their purposes, developed themselves, stepped out of their comfort zones to learn new skills or improve on old ones, looked for opportunities to become better and built healthy interpersonal relationships along.

They defied the societal expectation and barrier leveled against women that you have to live in the shadow of a significant male: they forged their own destinies and blazed their own trails. Significantly, most of these women are happily married showing us that one can have a significant other and still have a personal identity.

When you see such women, know they have paid a price for who they are and where they are presently.

There is always a price to pay, always. Everything comes with a price; however, the good thing is that you choose the price you would pay, whether consciously or unconsciously: the price of complacency and being stagnant or the price of productive sweat and an afterglow. Often times, the price for greatness comes with a lot inconveniences, pain, tears and discomfort. You will burn the proverbial midnight oil and fail many times. You will work hard and smart, sweat, learn, unlearn, relearn and most important, you will never give up: on yourself, on your skills or when the going gets tough because that is when and where you will build strength, resilience and a track record of competence.

If you admire Jennifer Lopez because of her acting skills and great body at the age of 51, know that she has paid and still paying the price to become a walking advertorial for her business empire.

When you admire Tara Fela-Durotoye for her entrepreneurial skills, please listen to her story on how she began, through to the processes that got her where she is today.

Blaze your own trail and leave your marks on the sands of time: be ready to pay the price for greatness with your sweat. When you admire a woman whom you wish to be like, listen to her story and learn from her: if she can do it then you too can. Kill the instinct of jealousy and competition with other women for it spells of immaturity and only immature women compete with the ones they should be learning from.

Whatever we admire about those great women are the results of many years of patient disciplined practices. As they glow in public with their skills, competence and beautiful physiques, know that the real work for those public appearances were done in the private.


Photo Credit: fox business

Photo Credit: Unsplash






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Busayo Madariola
Please make welcome, the latest writer to the ‘Eko Hot Blog’ family, OluwabusayoMadariola! Busayo, whose articles would be featured every Friday, is a trainer, writer and published author. Her work experiences span the field of banking, teaching and business consulting. She would be bringing her wealth of experience to our readers through her weekly contributions which would be centered mainly on female gender empowerment.