Lockdown Relaxation: The President Was Boxed Into A Corner — In His Speech.

The Presidents speech yesterday was like ..to me ..was …like …

… ok ok ok ..sebi u people are tired of keeping safe at home ..alright alright…I release you all to go and die if you wish to die …by 4th of May your desire to die is granted to you

Just give me one more week to make you stay alive …By 4th of May you are free to go out ..and die ….your dying can be possible between 8am to 6pm

If u escape death within those hours then you can still enjoy my arms of love …to keep you safe between hours 8pm to 6am

But I remain steadfast in keeping your children alive …so schools remain shut down …I will also be blameless before God and man …so all churches mosques night clubs weddings birthday parties etc ..remain shut down till further notice …no beer joints or amala joints shall entertain sitting …buy ur food as take away and waka …if u like sit down and drink …virus lives on surfaces of tables at least between 2 and 4 days ….so u can sit and eat and drink on table surfaces at joints or restaurant…sebi u have superpowers…Tooooorrhhhh …..

I will still be merciful unto u …so not all businesses will open….

I had thought Kano will learn from Lagos Abuja and Ogun lockdown …I never knew they were so dumb dum ..henceforth let me save their lives they are thereby shut down for 2 weeks ..they have died stupidly enough ..washing infected hands and drinking the water ….such dullards in quantum measure ..

So your staying locked down is now your personal choice …I have tried my best …u have all the rights to continue to work from home stock your home with food drinks and toiletries and remain locked down personally….I have removed my hands from saving you…

If u wish u can lock down ur family and only u will go out and get them daily bread and know that it’s only u out there while ur wife and children are safe and locked down ….it is ur choice …if u like dont take absolute care when out there …if u like bring the virus home to ur family …its ur choice..

The people I sent to give you money food and palliative..they swallowed it …I cant come and kill my self …I have tried …a father has many children …amongst them you have the Esaus and the Jacob’s…you have the Judas and the Peters….

It also comes to a time in the life of a father… he tells all his children both good and bad ..that this is how much I can be of help…I have tried …you are of age to know what to do …if you like choose death and go out any how…if you like choose life and continue to stay home

Dont think I am happy releasing you by May 4th …you all have tied my hands ….plus those who ate and swallowed your palliative and those who have been cursing me that ilocked u up because I hate u…Toooorhh you are now free to go out

If u like, Don’t wear mask always

Don’t wash ur hands every 20 minutes

Continue to shake hands and hug people u have missed during d lockdown …

Continue to receive yeye visitors in ur home especially those of u with underlined health conditions and aged parents

Don’t take sanitizers with u when going out

Don’t use bleach to clean surfaces

Don’t do social distancing

Sebi virus is virus …during HIV and aids we still have many of u who damn consequences and do have sex without condoms …so who am I to force u to use face mask?

If u choose to die by May 4th …I release u to go and die

But as for me and my house hold…we shall choose to live …..

— Anonymous writer