Categories: News

Our President Is Not Missing

By Aba Saheed

Our amiable no-nonsense President, General Muhammadu Aleko [Idowu in Yoruba] Buhari is NOT missing. He is very much on ground as can be confirmed by his recent appearance at the Eagle Square Primaries of his Party, the All Progressives Congress where he sat with his party faithfuls for hours on end.

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He was there with his wife Hadjia Haisha, and on many occasions he flashed smiles at the TV cameras, showing the whole world how happy he was and how much he was at peace with himself.

“That’s a lie. You can’t say our President is on ground. As far as we are concerned our President is missing. He was missing at Owo and at very many places where disasters struck and our President was expected to show up as Presidents do in civilized countries” this garrulous University Professor, Idi-Ishin, was stamping his huge fist on the centre table at the University Recreation Club, with his hoarse voice reaching to the sky.

“Yes, I concur” Professor Idi-Araba roared like thunder. “Let no one bamboozle us with that balderdash. It is erroneous and gregarious circumlocution and hypocritical hocus-pocus to want to put wool on our face and confuse the perimeters of our medulla oblongata.”

“When last did you see or hear our President” Professor Idi-Arere interjected. “Even if some of you are blind and denied of visionary propensities as a result of ophthalmological dislocation and dis-functionality are you also deaf and denied the pleasure of functional auditory canal? Professor Idi-Arere joined the chorus.

“Yes, this year alone the President had travelled out of the country more than 8 times. That is 8 trips in 5 months! Two-day visit to Spain, visit to UAE on condolence visit which he denies grieving communities in the country, visited Equatorial Guinea to attend AU Extraordinary Summit, visited Brussels, Belgium in February, he was in Nairobi, Kenya in March, was in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia in February, London UK for 2 weeks on medical check-up.” It was the turn of Professor Idi Olo a cartographer to catalogue the overseas trips made by Mr President in five months.

“As for me, the man has made me to forget the name of our Minister of Foreign Affairs. As a matter of fact, I don’t believe we have one. There were occasions I thought our President would have sent a Permanent Secretary or a career Ambassador to represent him.

As far as I am concerned I am waiting for my retirement and the opportunity to invite His Excellency to my Housewarming ceremony in Kuala Lumpur” That was Professor Morolari Olaniyonu, one of the three women engaged in the tirade.

I thought the Professors were flexing muscles out of ignorance. A Head of State is the face and symbol of his country anywhere in the world. And he or she is recognized as the Chief Image maker for his or her country. A President who is fit and able can elect to travel out of his/her country on as many occasions as he/she deems fit. It is his/her prerogative to delegate or not delegate.

I don’t think General Buhari has breached any law or protocol. Besides, most people are ignorant of the core characteristics of a Sagittarius born male. The Sagittarius is the most adventurous of all the individuals in the Zodiac calendar. Our President, according to his official age, was born on December 17, 1942, a very typical Sagittarius. Element is Fire. Symbol is Archer. Ruling Planet is Jupiter.

I checked the Labyrinthos to find out more about this wonderful Fire sign. Here is what it says: Sagittarius is a sign that loves to roam and wander. They don’t like to be stuck in a routine that is boring and repetitive. Their curiousity about all things drives them to have a life-style that allows them to move around the world and indulge in their love for questioning the world, dreaming about its mysteries and experiencing all the best pleasures it has to offer.

Why should anybody deny the President actualization of his dreams if once-upon-a-life-time opportunity offers it? Besides, our President has surrounded himself with capable hands after putting his government on auto-drive. And in fairness to him the country runs whether he is around or not around. What further proof does one need of his efficiency and ability including his sense of judgment in recruiting capable hands to act for him in his absence and discharge their responsibilities along his design and guidelines?

It was interesting, refreshing and reassuring seeing the President on his recent trip to Equatorial Guinea accompanied by his beautiful wife and two lovely daughters. That widely publicized photo of the First Family finally put to rest the silly innuendos of ‘the other room’.

One other point the critical University dons didn’t take into consideration was the possibility that our President, like Yoruba monarchs, may be forbidden by tradition from seeing the site of a dead body, a reason Yoruba Obas do not attend funeral rites. Our President, even though had seen plenty of bloodshed in his career as a combatant soldier, he may have been forbidden along the line never to look at fresh human blood, the probable reason he did not visit the gory scene in Benue when about 200 innocent lives were snuffed out with machetes and gun bullets.

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I reiterate that our President General Muhammadu Aleko Buhari is NOT missing and is very much on ground. Whoever is in doubt should visit the Aso Rock Villa and hold court with him.

I love Buhari whose photo donned my mobile phone screen until 2015. As he approaches the gate of Octogenarian Club next December, I wish his Excellency more days in the air as he traverses the world. Those hungry professors who are jealous because their salaries were not paid and who earn less than what a politician’s favoured messenger makes in a week, should query their fate and not bother about the President’s travels.

By Aba Saheed, abasaheed@gmail.com

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Paul Mbagwu