Who Healed The President?

By Tayo Ogunbiyi

In the estimation of self-styled doctors and soothsayers, President Bola Ahmed Tinubu ought to have died by now. They swore that he was very sick. No sooner had the then candidate Bola Tinubu won his party’s ticket to run for the presidency than they came up with tales of his terrible health condition.

What exactly was his health challenge?

Without giving any valid proof, the pseudo doctors quickly went to town with accounts of how his kidneys have gone so bad. They also gave stories of how he was moving with the aid of a machine kept inside of his left heart.

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Some claimed he was actually suffering from amnesia and Parkinson disease. He would not survive the rigour of a tough political campaign.

Another tale had it that his sickness was so bad that he had started peeing on his body! So strong was this claim that it reverberated in a viral video by one of his most trusted political allies.

With all these tales of woes, candidate Bola Tinubu was a disaster waiting to happen! To really drive home the point that the man was a walking corpse, a group of jesters also joined in the fray. They composed a song titled, ‘Baba wey dey shake’ (literally translated as the sick Papa).

In the said virile [sic] song, they taunted him with his alleged ill-health, contending that virtually all the organs of his body have packed up. They chorused: ‘Hand dey shake, leg dey shake, he still dey say emilokan’ (with shaking hands and legs, he still says it is my turn to be President).

Surprisingly, candidate Bola Tinubu was unperturbed by all the ill-health vibes. He surged on with the agility of an athlete poised to break world/Olympic records. In-spite of his purported failing health, he ran a most strenuous political campaign, combing the length and breadth of the country with his ‘Renewed Hope’ mantra.

He was reported to be holding a series of political meetings deep into the night. Even so, he would be the first to be on the road for yet another political engagement the following day. He even went to places considered quite dangerous. A particular case was a village in Kaduna State, Birnin Gwari, noted for its protracted terrorists’ escapades. Against every persuasion, then candidate Bola Tinubu insisted on visiting the village. He and his team got there in the dead of the night. The Emir was so impressed that he bequeathed him a traditional title.

Yet, the quasi doctors were not convinced. He remained a sick man. The verdict? He was not fit for the throne. However, come Election Day, the electorate had a different view as he defeated his closest rivals to emerge the 16th President of the country.

About two weeks after he was pronounced winner, he left the shores of the country for France. His handlers said he needed a moment of rest and reflection, considering the enormous task ahead.

But his self-appointed wannabe doctors would have none of that. He was going to France to seek urgent medical attention as some of the gadgets fixed to his body were already malfunctioning and needed to be reworked.

While in France, radiant pictures of the man and his family together with political associates surfaced online. Still, his self-appointed physicians insisted he was at the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) of a French hospital. They claimed the online pictures were merely carefully doctored by his handlers to fool Nigerians.

At the appointed time, they claimed they were going to reveal the name of the hospital where he was admitted and show the whole world how life-threatening his health condition was. It was so bad that he could no longer recognise anyone. So they alleged.

A few days to the inauguration, Bola Tinubu arrived in the country, using his words, “after a refreshing and rewarding time in France”. He was seen coming down from the aircraft with the liveliness of a bubbling youth, waving enthusiastically at his supporters who had come in their numbers to welcome him back home.

Yet, the quasi medics were not persuaded. Rather, they called attention to a supposed machine allegedly fixed on one of his pockets as an authentic proof that their ‘patient’s’ ailment was yet to be healed. Before you could say Jack Robinson, pictures of the purported machine had gone virile.

“Yes, we said so. He is a sick man. We don’t want another Yar’Adua”, the disciples of the phoney doctors chorused.

Since his inauguration, rather than die as they had predicted, the President has continued to exhibit traits of a man whose faculties are intact. He has made decisions that have been considered sound and apt from far and near. Even his worst critics have agreed that the man has begun his presidency on a sound footing.

In his first official overseas trip to France (what is it with the President and France?) where he attended the maiden Summit on New Global Financing Pact in Paris, he looked quite energetic, holding several meetings with notable world monetary bodies and individuals.

Perhaps, the highlight of his outing in France was the manner he galloped, like an Under-17 footballer, to hug French President Emmanuel Macron on the last day of the Paris Summit. He was so lively and full of energy that one would think he was the younger of the two.

Curiously, of late, the quasi doctors and their disciples seem unconcerned about the President’s health. They seem to have been disappointed that their skewed diagnosis has failed. Probably, they are now convinced that they are wrong after all.

How can a sick President be almost everywhere bubbling with life. After he left Paris, the President flew to London where he reportedly paid his predecessor, Muhammadu Buhari, a private visit.

He left London for Lagos and was engaged in a flurry of activities that were certainly not appropriate for a sick man. In one day, he was in Ijebu-Ode and Abeokuta, both in Ogun State, on a private visit to the monarchs of the respective ancient Yoruba towns. Same day, in the evening, he was back in Lagos as a guest of the State government, which held a colourful reception in his honour.

The following day, he attended to a visiting African Head of State, while also making several private visits to notable individuals such as the Oba of Lagos, Hajia Abba Folawiyo, Haji Binta Tinubu and a host of others.

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Since the pseudo doctors and their adherents seem to have mellowed about his health concern, the question they need to urgently answer now is: Who healed the President?

–Ogunbiyi is Deputy Director, Public Affairs, Ministry of Information and Strategy, Alausa, Ikeja.

The opinions in this article are strictly writer’s and do not represent the views of Eko Hot Blog.

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