Opinion: ‘How To Stay In A Long Lasting Loving Relationship’- Advices By An Old-Timer.

One of the hardest but most rewarding relationships is a committed marital bond between two people which has stood the test of time. It is about the most rewarding because of the boundary of disciplined commitment two people erect as a fortress around themselves devoid of external influences and built on trust, integrity, fidelity and a lifelong commitment.

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Now while a whole lot of people admire and applaud a man and woman of matured age who have been in a loving, peaceful, committed, long term relationship, not many have been able to achieve that desire.

Young lovers and newlyweds especially, project themselves and their partners as growing lovingly old together but most find out that the strong emotions of love they experienced at the beginning of their marriage somehow dissolved after the birth of the first two kids. For some others, it is an unexpected turn in physical or financial health of the union that choked off the affection they had at the beginning when all the promises of being together forever was made.

For others, the strong emotions gave way to regret because a partner got abusive or committed acts of repeated infidelity and the hope of a happy hereafter died.

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Most people go into a committed marriage relationship thinking it would last till death do them part not knowing that marital commitment involves a lot more than just feelings:  a marriage that must survive changing times and life seasons must be between people who are disciplined emotionally, physically and mentally, individuals willing to work on themselves as individuals and evolve together as a couple.

A sixty six year old non-religious English grandmother, one who had been in a loving marriage for over forty years, gives these paraphrased advices on having a fulfilling marital union that would stand the test of time:

• Build a strong foundation of personal identity and be true to yourself knowing what you want before you commit to another person.
• Be traditional in your thinking about the issue of marriage: the man being the head and the woman supporting.
• Be faithful in all things because these issues kill marriages the most: sexual infidelity and financial mismanagement.
• Be grateful for everything and never take each other for granted.
• Be each other’s peace and learn to forgive without reserve.
• Don’t expect all of your married days to be filled with fun, beautiful laughter and harmonious romance.
• Argue without demeaning words and make up as quickly as possible.

Almost all her advices follow in the thought lines of most of the popular marriage advocates and faith-based preachers which means the basic foundational principles of two people living and loving each other in marriages follow the same sequence for people who have had proven successes. Irrespective of religious beliefs, geographical locations and race, the principles of marriage, we are advised, are almost the same everywhere.

Listen to principles but adjust methods to suit your peculiar circumstance.

Photo Credit: Jimmy Chan

OLUWABUSAYO MADARIOLA

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