Opinion: Objectification Of Women, Wisdom Of Our Parents And The Practicality Of This Age

In retrospect, a lot of us are aware of a lot of things that didn’t quite go well in the way our mothers were limited by some factors their generation and mindset scribed them to believe they were powerless against. From our standpoint now, we know what was wrong with the arrangement of the marriage unions of our parents.

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Some of our mothers were physically abused by their spouses and in-laws respectively and it was unheard of, at that time, for them to leave their matrimonial home. The culture frowned at single-parenthood and coerced mothers into staying and altering who they were to accommodate the excesses of their spouses.

In some instants, it was the fathers who had to endure the excesses, overbearing nature and infidelities of their wives. Their generation was more concerned about staying together as a family, doing all they can to hold everyone in place not bothering about the essence, joy, and happiness of the stakeholders.

Some of our parents endured loveless marriages to provide security, shelter and give the children a sense of togetherness as a family.

Our parents’ generation stayed married to keep the house, children, in-laws together, sacrificing who they could have become to make the family unit one. Our mothers, especially, endured limitations from almost every side: they were told and subjected into the belief and mindset that they were a product of the cultural mindset.

Our generation is different; we now have women empowerment that has liberated us from that limiting mindset that we are equally as gifted as the male gender and also an equal partner in a marriage relationship.

We no longer have to endure abuses in marriage because we are no lesser partner and we have the economic means to care for ourselves which makes us contributory significant other to the household. We have broken the glass ceiling that has held us down for a very long time and as women, we are doing tremendous things because we have the tools of liberation, empowerment, enlightenment and knowledge.

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However, there is still a disconnect somewhere because with the enormous knowledge and tools of empowerment our generation is now armed with, we still cannot boost of successful, loving, enduring, single-unit family unions.

We have more knowledge and tools of economic independence than our parents but our generation is discarding almost everything our parents did tagging them as ‘old school’ just because of the shift in the mindset of this generation. True, we have so many information and economic empowerment than they did but can we boost of better principles than they have?

Some of the things we are throwing away as old fashioned is what gave their generation stability and resilience even if their marriages were loveless and riddled with the objectification of their women.

They made their mistakes but our generation is mostly trading the principles behind what they did for modernity which is actually snuffing the very lives out of our collective stability as individuals and as a generation.

They got a lot of the approaches, processes and methods wrong but they also got their principles right. They had loyalty, contentment, resilience to stay to make things work, strength of character, staying power to endure for the sake of their children, they gave us the best from their meager means and possessed a sense of keenness which despite their various shortcomings gave us the spring board we needed to become what we are today.

Totally disregarding the practicality of their generation, ignoring the principles that kept them together and openly insulting their guidance is tantamount to our generation making their mistake with a worst outcome. I believe we know what we want but need the principles from them to navigate our ways in holding the family unit, our society and community together. We should harness the principles behind their actions, add our flavours and spices and come up with something unique and better for our generation.

I believe we should sieve out the principles behind what they did.

Insulting an elder because he or she gave an advice which seems to diminish women in practice shouldn’t be met with mockery, scorn and disdain. Listen to learn what you can from their insight and disregard that which no longer works in this generation and for you as an individual.

Just because we have the exposure and tools for exposure doesn’t automatically make all our actions better than theirs, what would make it better for our generation is the workable that can be harnessed from sieving the wisdom from their principles and adapting them into the practicalities of the present.

It would not be wise of us in this generation, if our parents and those in their generation pass onto the beyond without us learning to sieve the richness of their wisdom from the shaft.

When experience talks, we only need to be open minded to understand and disagree where necessary without being offensive or rude. They had the plumb line but our generation has the master plan, we need both elements to move ahead to build long-lasting, better and loving family unions.

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OLUWABUSAYO MADARIOLA