Editorial Column

Opinion: How Spousal Support Aid Women In Making Significant Choices In Life And In Career

Published

4 years ago

Jul 31, 2020.

Not everyone believes in the institution of marriage and this by no means makes those who do not believe less human or weird than those who do.

However for those who believe in the institution of marriage and all that it stands for, then we know that most likely, our highest evolving self, into our fullest potential comes within the context of the loving and supporting efforts of a spouse or significant other. For the majority of married folks, the success of their marriage: raising well balanced and responsible children, creating a conducive environment for all stakeholders to thrive and grow in, having a successful career/entrepreneurial endeavors outside of the home but with the total support of one another, is paramount and a desire, especially, for most women.

However the issue of who looks after the kids when they are still young and totally dependent on (a) responsible adult(s) (their parents) become a significant issue of concern, especially when the woman has a very successful yet demanding career outside of the home: must it always be the woman to sacrifice her career to take care of the children till they are of age with the hindsight that some women also want to be fulfilled career-wise and achieve their own level of success irrespective of their traditional roles as home makers.

Let us dive a bit into the issue of gender development and female empowerment which most people especially men and older folks are scared of for it seem to signify a scheme of resistance and insubordination against the generally accepted norms of a man being the head of the home.
Gender development and female empowerment is recognizing, acknowledging and giving women the same equal chance and level playing field as men to exhibit their fullest potential in every sphere of endeavor they so choose.
One of the key words in female empowerment is the right of a woman to choose what is best for her and her circumstance per time.

So in a home where the man is the head and the woman supports, must the woman be the one to sacrifice her career for “the taking care of the children”? Taking care of the home should involve the input and effort of both the husband and the wife, however, the best decision that suits every family must be employed because each family’s goals and objectives vary and there is no cast in stone method or procedure on who stays at home to look after the kids.

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What we are talking about is not the general belief that the woman must sacrifice her career to take care of the kids but that the couple look at their unique situation to determine what is best for them in raising well balanced and responsible kids who would be protected from the harshness and the scary evils that we hear about daily.

That the wife is home all the time is not a guarantee that the kids would be well looked after and the fact that the woman is working full time doesn’t not mean the kids are without care and protection.

Mrs. Abiodun Ibukun Awosika (Chairman, First Bank/Motivational Speaker)

There are so many examples of women who have been able to balance career and the raising of their kids well: all depends on the creative abilities of the woman, the support systems she has and her decision to sacrifice other things or events for a certain period to make sure that what needs to be done at the home front is not left undone.

That the man is the head of the home does not confer on him a superiority status of being better or more intelligent. As the head, he is responsible spiritually and emotionally for his wife and kids, he protects and covers them physically and psychologically. In fact, the role of headship makes the man the first point of contact from any external influence, he is the earthly shield for his wife and kids so he has the huge responsible of laying all options on the table and choosing what works best for the family.

When a woman is supported, most likely, it makes it easier for her to give of herself totally to taking care of the kids in whatever option is best for their individual family.
We have examples of women who have climbed up the career ladder while also taking care of the kids; however, some women cannot do the two together so they pick the one which is the most paramount to them which is (most likely) the raising of the kids.

Women can actually have it all: a successful marriage, well balanced kids, flourishing businesses/careers and credible business partnership all with the love and support of their spouses or significant other.
Men and Women are better together, especially in a committed union where there is sincerity of purpose, credibility of character in the presence or absence of one another, respect, trust, loyalty and resilience of togetherness. When the above and much more positive things are present, then women in those unions can achieve their highest level of purpose and self without fear but with support and love.
Whatever a family chooses as the best that works for it, the woman should be respected and not taken for granted for her sacrifices and if she chooses to keep her career while raising her kids, she should be respected and supported as well.
The woman, would most likely make the sacrifice of taking care of the home front sacrificing her career sometimes to raise the kids when they are still young and some women even start entrepreneur ventures to keep them busy while they raise their kids. Every couples’ stories are different, every family have their goals and objectives but what should be common amongst all is that irrespective of the differences in belief system guiding every marriage union, all must be premised on the principle of sound judgment where all stakeholders are respected and given the right of place to become their highest, truest self.

PHOTO CREDIT: gettyimages

OLUWABUSAYO MADARIOLA

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